When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize