Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
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