Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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