Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Randomize
