I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Randomize