in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Randomize
