Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Randomize
