Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Randomize