The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
