1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.Â
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Randomize
