My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
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