My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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