so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
