me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team