its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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