Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Randomize
