Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
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