I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
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