new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
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