the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
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i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
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I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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