im drinking this country out of the recession.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Randomize
