You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
