You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
somebody snuck up and got me drunk
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Found your dick twin last night
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I can't turn off my feet"
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Randomize
