dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
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