i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
I supernannyed him into submission
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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