I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Randomize
