dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
