that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
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