I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Randomize
