Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Randomize
