i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Randomize
