Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
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