dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
