hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
