Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
