I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Randomize
