Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
