Your mouth is God's brothel.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
