You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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