i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize
