The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
