You just made me feel so damn special
so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Randomize
