he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
