covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
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