He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
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Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
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