his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize