The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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