she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Randomize
