we made out on top of his cat.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
