its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Randomize
