I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
