sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
