Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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