so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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