That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
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