do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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