Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
