I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
